I'm writing this blog today because on Christmas eve my boyfriend and I of six months broke up after I found out he was still seeing his ex. This happened after he started a fight with me and told me "Merry Fucking Christmas to you too" after all I did was wish him a Merry Christmas. He was angry with me because his (supposedly) ex girlfriend had found out we were dating and that "ruined her Christmas" and he was mad that I had told a mutual friend several months ago that he and I were dating when he ghosted me for several days. I was just trying to find out what was going on at the time. It doesn't make much sense when you read it. Why would he care more about his ex girlfriend's Christmas than mine, the girl he had been seeing for six months and with whom he was even starting to talk about moving in together.
Go to the List of Reasons
I contacted our mutual friend (who happened to be a former cousin of mine, through marriage) and that's when I found out he was still seeing his ex. What's worse is that just a few minutes after the text message he sent me with his angry rant out of nowhere, he texted her "Merry Christmas Eve babe, I love you.".. She was the one who sent me the screenshot of his messages. Right after he bitched at me and tried to ruin my Christmas. He had also gone over to her house right after that too.
We both confronted him over the phone, he got pissed, didn't say anything and forced her out of his house when she went over there later that evening. I felt bad for her as much as I felt bad for myself. Unfortunately he is still talking to her..
A few days later I hear from him again. He apologizes and says that he only meant "I love you" in a platonic way to her and she knows it and that she is lying and is obsessed. I also found out that she was trying to work things out with him, which made me suspicious of her. I thought, ok maybe she really is crazy, why would someone take someone back who is cheating on them?
I believed him and we got back together, he says he's never going to talk to her again. A month or two go by, and suddenly, he is going through some things and can't talk. This goes on for a week before I discover he has changed his Facebook profile picture of him and his ex kissing with hearts over it. WTF? I thought. I called him out on it and he says "Sorry, but I love her." I was pissed. What happened to that just platonic love? Turns out, he was seeing her the whole time. I was just a side chick that he lied to the whole time. He even tried to gaslight me over the phone by telling me that I begged him to be with me, which is completely absurd. Naturally, I lost it and went off on him. His ex then contacts me after I hang up, telling me that I'm pathetic and he was always going back to her and she believed him when he said I begged him to be with me.
First of all, if someone doesn't want to be with me, I respect that. I do not beg or fight for a man. Plus, this guy was definitely below my league and I made an exception. He was morbidly obese, with a crap job and living with his parents. Why would I beg for a guy like that?
A few weeks after I was discarded like trash, he married her. Pretty fucked up if you ask me.
I should have seen this coming. I did his chart but I ignored the negative things I saw it in. His birth chart wasn't nearly as bad as other charts I have seen and had some good qualities in it. I also saw that he was a young soul (Level 3, pink), but I was willing to give it a chance anyway. We had so much in common, we both were nerdy gamers, open minded, spiritual but not religious, artistic (he was a fabulous artist, much better than me), our charts were highly compatible and I eventually fell in love with him (unfortunately).
Our relationship was a bit rocky from time to time and that was because he would get mad at me over something small and then stonewall me (which is a form of emotional abuse). I spent many nights crying over him and apparently so did his other girlfriend of two years. I also found out that he had cheated on his previous girlfriend before her of 12 years with her best friend. So here we see a pattern of behavior.
I handled it much better than I thought I would. I supposed it's because I was already over his games at this point and my dreams were trying to get me to move on, even though I was very resistant to those messages. I also had been weaning off of my anti-depressants, which were helping me with my anxiety and depression, but were making me overly emotional at times and affecting my hormones negatively (I skipped three periods in a row!). I had gotten Ketamine treatment instead before all this too, which has helped.
He is a narcissist. They never change and they all operate from the same manipulative and selfish play book.
So what point am I trying to make here? The point is that if you and your partner are far apart in soul age, the relationship is going to be a struggle. One is always going to usually be more mature, empathetic and compassionate, while the other will tend to be more self absorbed and even narcissistic.
Think of it like this, if you are the older soul, you are dating a person with the emotional and empathetic level of a child. Below I have listed the struggles of dating a younger soul.
Note: When I refer to young souls, I'm referring to souls between the ages of 3 and 4.5 (out of 11), which I have found to display the most narcissism and other personality disorders. Not that I'm saying that they all have these traits, but the odds are higher that they will in this age group. Older souls would be from 6 upward. Level 5 and 5.5 souls can sway back and forth, so it's hard to say for them. Souls between the ages of 1-3 are generally neutral.
Reasons Why it's Hard Dating a Younger Soul
1. The older soul is usually there to help the younger soul with their spiritual development, but they may not always be ready to accept it (most of the time, they are not). Though there is always something to learn, no matter how old of a soul you are, the young soul could be in your life for a reason too (even it if it's just learning to walk away).
2. The younger soul is more self-centered and will have a harder time placing themselves in your shoes whenever they hurt you.
3. The younger soul loves drama, even when they say they hate it (especially when they say they hate it). This is usually a form of a projection and they don't even realize they are the ones stirring up the drama. They want everything to go their way and then get confused and angry when it doesn't.
4. Younger souls want a lot of attention either from you or from others. They are more prone to cheating and looking to have their ego stroked from other women/men.
5. Older souls are looking for a partner in life, someone they both love and can work with towards achieving common goals. Younger souls are looking to have their egos stroked, to have their needs and desires met, or are looking for the "perfect partner" that they have created in their mind that is unrealistic and doesn't exist.
6. Younger souls have a tendency to play mind games in relationships because they haven't had enough life experience to understand the pain and turmoil they are causing to their partner.
7. Younger souls have little to no interested in self improvement. They may say from time to time they want to work on some issues they have, but they never get around to it.
8. Younger souls rarely take advice from anyone, so it's almost impossible to give them your opinion on anything without it falling on deaf ears. Even if you're trying to help them, they don't want your help, typically. They rarely listen to wise counsel or advisers.
9. Younger souls are typically more lazy, they may not help with chores around the house and they may not even want to work and expect you to do everything. They even expect you to put in most of the effort of keeping the relationship together and that can get exhausting after a while.
10. Younger souls tend to be more emotionally and physically abusive and will try to put you down in arguments or just whenever, even when they say they are "joking", they are really just trying to put you down to make themselves feel better.
To determine your soulage or your partner's, use this link (it's free):
http://soulage.hopto.org/
I'm sure I could add more things to this list but if you notice many narcissists exhibit these same traits. These are things to expect from a child, an emotionally underdeveloped person or a spiritually underdeveloped person.
If you are with a young soul in this age group and things are going well, consider yourself very lucky. But if things are not going well, it's because of the maturity factor. Are you really willing to invest your time, energy and love to a person who will never grow up? It takes an incredibly long time and hundreds, if not thousands of lifetimes for a soul to mature and grow to make it to the next level, so don't expect them to make much progress in this lifetime. And if you are dealing with a narcissist, they will never change either. A narcissist is usually a person, for one reason or another (usually from childhood abuse or neglect), who's emotional maturity became stunted early in life. It's brain damage and there is no help or medical treatment available for personality disorders at this moment. They are also demonically possessed. They will reveal this to you in one way or another. One narc actually told me he hopes to be a demon when he dies so he can torture bad people. The last narc I talked about here, liked to look like a demon and wear demonic looking contacts, which I found a bit immature at the time for a 38 year old, but now I realize why.
It's harder as an older soul to find love and we are typically the ones you find who never marry. That's usually because most of the souls on this planet fall into the 1-4.5 range of spiritual maturity so our relationships never seem to work out and we often think that we just have bad luck. Younger souls and narcissists see our compassion, generosity and our trusting nature as a weakness and will often take advantage of us because of it. Younger souls have more of a tendency to put up with the childish behavior from their partner because they play the same games. Older souls do not play games in relationships and are less likely to put up with it. So let the younger souls have each other when they are not ready to progress and learn how to have a normal, stable and loving relationship.
